What is a Trophy Daughter?
More than one unsuspecting victim, uh, visitor, has stumbled across the blog by googling this question, so let me explain. I coined the term as a gender-specific alternative to “golden child” or “hero”, the current vernaculars for those kids who bring some semblance of credibility to their crazy families by striving to be perfect.
Yes, that’s right, I’m claiming credit for Trophy Daughter. (And no, don’t be ridiculous, I did not invent the internet nor have I ever claimed to.) Others may also stake claim, but I’m not budging. Back when I started, images of young girls holding trophies popped up when you googled Trophy Daughter. Now you get me. And there are t-shirts! Not that I’m getting any royalties. . . seriously, the one original thought of my lifetime and not even a dime. What’s up with that?
So Trophy Daughter is mine, no matter what you say, and I get to define it. Argue all you want but my blog, my rules. So here it is:
trophy daughter: n; a daughter held to overly ambitious expectations for behavior and achievement by parents who use her to impress others and bring glory to themselves.
Trophy daughter is NOT a term of endearment. A trophy daughter is born when her parents only see her as an extension of themselves and when her accomplishments become the measure of good parenting. Somewhere along the way, our parents forgot that we are actually unique individuals whose personalities, dreams, and decisions are not a reflection on them. Instead of seeking to know us, they sought to change us into someone they could be proud of. As if we were innately lacking of anything to be proud of on our own. If we met expectations, we were ignored (yet, ironically, despised by relatives who were sick to death of hearing about us.) If we failed, the pressure increased. If we rebelled, we were ostracized. It was the classic can’t-win-for-losing.
Interestingly, trophy child, has been around since 1990. You can read more about that at wordspy.